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The beginning of my Hypochondria

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The beginning of my Hypochondria

Postby icelandicpain » Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:41 am

So i just wanted to share with you my journey through this hell.
Im a 21 year old male and this all started when i was 10.
I come from a very bad household, everybody were alcaholics and at the age of 10 my mother send me in a therapy clinic in the country because of deepression. It had always just been the two of us so i was really close to her and needed her at all times.
She told me this place i was going to was a heaven on earth.. i could do paintings wich i loved and express my artistic side.
When i got there... i saw a house in the middle of nowhere in the country side... she kissed me goodbye and went away... i later found out it wasnt exactly the place she described. The system there worked this way... when you start to show good behaviour you were ready to go home.. meaning.. there were 6 boys there that had been locked in this place for 8 years and 3 years and the only way i could talk to my mother was once a weak for 10 minutes where i had to stand in front of people so everybody knew i wasnt complaining. So bascially it was a prison hell. This was the place where the road to hell started - the HYPOCHONDRIA.
I had to find a way to get out of there.. it was so bad.. if i did something wrong i was locked in my room wich had nothing and had to stay there for 2 days... so i started to show the best behavior... I HAD to be the best.... i just couldnt stand the thought of being there for a long time.. so my obsession over being perfect started... one year later i had developed such an obsession over things that i started to get this pain in my stomach... the pain was starting to be so bad that i wasnt even able to walk straight. The 4 people who run the place thought i wasnt ready to go but my mother instisted i wouldnt spend more time there and took me home. I later found out that the only reason i was send there was because of my mothers alcaholic problems. After i got home i wasnt myself anymore... i got the worst anorexia and had to see a doctor everyday for weight. my stomach pain wasnt going away so i started seeing the doctor every week... sometimes 2 times a week. Then i got a scan and they told me it wasnt cancer and guess what.. the pain dissapeared. after i knew the stomach pain was gone i started to get a bad headache and the hell started again... doctor appointments and money and time were killing me and my mother. after they checked for cancer it went away.

Hypochondria has been hunting me for 11 years now and i cant really say ive enjoyed my life that much.
How can you enjoy life if you are always thinking about death?

I just really wanted to share this story and let you know how damaging childhood can affect you in the worst way.

New Hypochondriac
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Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2011 3:47 pm

Re: The beginning of my Hypochondria

Postby MyInnerHypo » Tue Apr 03, 2012 8:01 am

PTSD. You are suffering from it and there is treatment. Go to your doctor and tell them everything you just wrote here. There is help and you don't have to suffer alone!

God Bless!!!
God Bless
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